I am waiting. I have been promised an apartment, a dog, a beautiful car, and my dream job. I could be on my way to achieving everything I have ever hoped for myself, and in turn able to finally stop being so selfish. I'm sick of spending all my time thinking about myself....how to survive, to get by, to deal. I want to be free of the bonds of financial and time limitations to really help someone else. There have to be people who just need someone strong and able to believe in them, and offer the boost they need to greatness.
I want to sing and record.
be a philanthropist
a model
a party girl
a girlfriend, fiance, wife, best friend, partner in crime
a restaurateur
a college graduate
an amazing friend
a successful business person
a success in general.
I could on the other hand continue my current situation. Staying with my friend, penniless, jobless, hopeless, loveless, and doubtful about the future.
I could be all those. I could be more. I could be anything but who knows what that will be or if I will every truly be happy with anything. I may aim to high but I hope by aiming high to fall somewhere in the middle....Not Rich and Famous, Not destitute and forgotten......to not be anything. I want to be nothing but just happy. Just myself. I want the freedom to just be.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
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